Everything happens for a reason.

The nay-sayers will dispute me on this, but every day I believe it more and more.

Take, for example, my ex-boyfriend Sean. It's not a secret anymore that he was violent. Yet I wouldn't trade a thing, because the violence made me stand up for myself when no one else could or would, and that made me strong.

Take, for another example, my ex-boyfriend Alan. Now, up until about a week ago, I thought the reason we didn't work out was because he wasn't ready for a relationship, after not calling me for three weeks during which he was freaking out because he loved me but wasn't ready. I was wrong.

It turns out, he LIED TO ME and told me he lost my number, which he, in fact, did not at all. He just didn't have the balls to break up with me. So he hid my number under the bed, only to be found months later by his current girlfriend, Nikki -- who then understandably freaked out and called me crying to ask if "we" (Alan and I) had recently been doing the nasty. Which we haven't.

Now, here's the non-dramatic part that leads me to say everything happens for a reason:

Nikki is a beautiful, wonderful person. And, after finding out via telephone that we have much more in common than a mutual ex/current man, we've developed quite the friendship. We even got together for a girl's day out when I was in Ohio last week, just the two of us, and it couldn't have been better. We talk almost every day and I love it, and I love her.

Now, here's the kicker:

Nikki's the one who accidentally outed Alan's secret about hiding my number under the bed. Even she didn't realize he had been lying to me until she saw the look on my face -- when he had told her that he lied to me about it, she actually thought his lie was a lie, because nobody could be that mean. Well, it turns out somebody can and his name is Alan. Long story short, she felt really bad and I felt really played by Alan.

I was pissed, I felt used and cheated. I fumed about it all the way to Columbus from Sandusky and thought up all of these elaborate plans to get back at him, which were all really just garbage-thinking. But it made me feel better.

But here's the thing that really makes me feel better: If Alan hadn't been a douchbag enough to hide my number under the bed and lie to me about it, Nikki would never have found it. And she never would have called me to confront me on it. And we never would have talked our way past it. And we never would have become friends.

How's that for fate?