FUCKING RAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNTTTTTT!!!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKITYFUCK!!!!!!!!!!!

Here's me and my story, posted here so everyone in the fucking world knows what sloppy fucktards everyone who works for Cingular Wireless is and how they can go fuck themselves in
the ass with rubber fucking mallets:

When my laptop was stolen I called Finger-Fuckular and suspended my wireless Internet service. The lady never said anything about still having to pay EVERY FUCKING MONTH FOR SERVICE I'M NOT USING BECAUSE MY WIRELESS CARD IS WITH SOME BLOODY-FISTHEAD CRACKHEAD!!!!! No, all she was I had two options - cancel my service, which would require a cancellation fee, or suspend the service.
I chose to suspend the service. AND THEN TODAY I GOT A BILL FOR A MONTH'S WORTH OF INTERNET USAGE.

It's classic. You should see it, it's hilarious. It gives me a nice little summary of all the wireless transfers I've made (none) and all the bytes I've downloaded (again, none.) They put all that info into sweet little columns and then at the bottom, "Services Rendered: $59.99"
I thought, "This must be a mistake. Poor Cingular, they made a boo-boo. Awww, I'll call them and alert them."

So I call and I get some chick who says, "No, ma'am, you still have to pay for your monthly service, or you can pay a cancellation fee."
WHAT THE FUCK???????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Needless to say, I went apeshit. Seriously, I am being asked to pay for something I can't use becaues it was stolen from me, but I still have to pay for it, or pay a cancellation fee as punishment for it being stolen. WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF!!!!!!

I asked to speak to her supervisor, so then they put me on hold for 5 minutes, and when someone came back on it was the first lady who said her supervisor had been KIND ENOUGH TO CUT THE CANCELLATION FEE IN HALF, PLUS the $59.99 I already owed for the service I COULDN"T USE because I have no laptop, and no card.
"Oh, my, isn't that BENEVOLENT??!?!?!?!" I shouted at her. "Let me speak with your supervisor."

So I'm on hold for another 6 minutes before the first lady comes on AGAIN and tells me this: "My supervisor said if I transfer you to her and you don't accept the courtesy offer of half your cancellation fee from me, then she is withdrawing the offer and you'll have to pay the entire cancellation fee, plus the monthly service fee you already owe."
FUCKING BITCH!!!!! STUPID MOTHER-FUCKING CUNT-RAG DIRTY COOTER FUCKING TWAT CUNT BITCH!!!!!!!

So then the conversation goes like this:

Me - Is your supervisor trying to punish me for being poor? Does she not want to talk to me, so she's threatening me, knowing I'm going to take it and eat shit like someone who can't afford this bullshit? Is that it? Cuz y'know if she really wanted to punish me, she could get my address off my fucking bill and come to my house and kick me in the face, at least it would be FREE!!!! Tell your supervisor to fuck off and burn in hell!!!!!

*click*

EEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!

so the moral is: FUCK CINGULAR AND THEIR STUPID FUCKING TWAT-ASS BITCH SUPERVISORS AND I HOPE THEY ALL GET HIT BY TRUCKS AND DRAGGED FOR MILES UNTIL THEIR SKIN FALLS OFF AND THE GASOLINE SETS THEM FUCKING AFLAME AND I'LL LAUGH AT THEM AND WOULDN'T TAKE TWO FUCKING STEPS TO PEE ON THEM TO PUT THEM OUT, SHIT-BRAINED MOTHER FUCKERS!!!!!!!

AND I'M GOING TO GO TO THEIR CORPORATE FUCKING HEADQUARTERS AND PULL A JAY AND SILENT BOB WHERE I MAKE THEM EAT MY SHIT AND THEN SHIT OUT THEIR SHIT AND THEN EAT THEIR SHIT WHICH IS MADE UP OF MY SHIT THAT I MADE THEM EAT, THOSE STUPID-ASS CUNTS!!!!
AAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!

This is what happens when someone is so nice, like me, and they take it and take it and take it until they just blow up. So don't be like Cingular. Don't be mean, or charge money for The Dumbest Shit Ever. And don't make me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry.