In Case of Narrowness, Bang Head Here

Had an interesting conversation last night with my friend Kris. Or at least I tried to. He's my age and could probably be considered the BMOC of our small town, the alpha male among the other 25-year-old guys that help the local bars by making sure no barstool in town is an anti-gravity machine. He got a great job with Wells Fargo right out of college. He's a cool enough guy, but very opinionated. And very tied to this place.

Maybe I would be too if I were considered The Crowned Prince of Laurel. But alas, I'm not. The whole discussion started when he asked me why in God's name I would actually want to leave Laurel to drive around the country. He kept saying, "Isn't this your home? What could possibly be out there for you that you couldn't find here? You'll never find a better place to be than right here." He was astounded when I said, "No, Kris. You'll never find a better place to be than right here. For yourself. But I will." I didn't have the heart to tell him that I outgrew this place a long time ago, that Laurel is merely a depot on the road to wherever I'll end up. Out of context, that sounds very egomaniacal.

He honestly could not get his head around the concept that anyone could not wish to spend the rest of their life right here in Laurel, Maryland. Poor thing, he's so ensconced with his quasi-fame that it's clouding his ability to see past the end of his nose. He said something that scared me a little, too, at one point. He said, "I'm just pissed that I have to settle down now."
"Do you have to, Kris?", I asked.
"Well, yeah. That's the way it goes."
"What, life?"
"Yeah. You graduate high school at 18, you go to college, you get a job at 23, you get married and settle down when you're 25. That's the order."
"But do you want to settle down now?"
"I don't know. I guess so."
"Kris, you don't think that's living your life in a box?"
"I'm a conservative. I do things in order, like I'm supposed to. It's a Republican thing. I want to be successful."
"I can respect that. What about being happy? Do you want to be happy too?"
"Yeah, I'll be happy when I'm successful and have a ton of money."

He started going on about his bonus and stock options with Wells Fargo. I was starting to get annoyed.
"Man, those 8,000 shares are gonna make your dick look huge! You must be excited!", I said.
He laughed. "It won't matter what size my dick is when it's got $100,000 bills swinging from it!"

I changed the subject. I didn't have the energy to get into a debate about money buying happiness, not then. But he brought it back around when he asked me, "Okay, so you're somehow convinced that you'll find better people outside of Laurel. Fine. But what do you want to do when you're done with this book thing?". I made the mistake of being honest.
"Promise not to laugh, Kris? I want to get my MPA from USC and I'd love to work with a charity that helps HIV-infected children and AIDS orphans. Or start one."
Of course he laughed.

"You're not going to make any money doing that!", he said.
"You're probably right."
"Then how do you expect to be successful?"
"I don't know, Kris. Maybe by having a soul."
"But what about money and stuff?"
"Kris, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you're really small-minded."

I guess one of the reasons I want to travel and write this book is because I feel alienated when I get into conversations like this, with people who, while nice, having completely conflicting ideals than I do. I'm convinced there are people somewhere who feel the same way I do. And the more of them I find, the less I'll want to bang my head against a wall repeatedly.