Day One. Amazing, Glorious, Fabulous, Incredible Day One.

It’s 3:30 and almost all my dreams have already come true. I’ve been adopted by a stranger, gawked at by a cow, chased by a rooster and bitten by a pig. Right now I’m sitting in a big open field getting ready to go to an Amish gospel worship and pig roast. I can’t wait - but it doesn’t start for another half hour so that gives me a chance to write about all I’ve seen so far.
I got a pretty late start. I wanted to leave at 9:30 but it wound up being 10:55. Mom, Kevin, and I got breakfast from McDonald’s and brought it home. I rekindled my ailing relationship with McGriddles brought on by a crappy one about a year and a half ago, just in time to get on the road. So we ate and joked around until they left. Then I took a really long, hot shower in anticipation of not having one for a long time.

When I started the car I popped in the Road Mix Max made for me and it was awesome. I listened to Rilo Kiley as I pulled out of my driveway and down the street. It was probably the first time since getting my license that my heart was pounding because I was behind the wheel of a vehicle. I could not believe this was finally happening! I had to fan myself as I got on 95 North. Those who’ve known me for a long time know how long I’ve been waiting for this moment. It’s been set back so many times I can’t even remember them all. And now here I am, in this field in God Knows Where, waiting to go to a pig roast. I am so excited.
So I listened to the CD all the way to Pennsylvania. I got lost in Northern Maryland at one point and asked a landscaper for directions. He was a tall, lean man and his blue eyes reminded me a lot of my father’s. He pointed me towards Rt. 1 North and said to look for the liquor store. I stopped at the store to buy one beer to drink tonight after I find a place to camp or park, and decided to go total white trash and buy a 22 oz. Natty Ice for 99 cents. WT, holla! So then I verified the directions with the guy behind the counter and he thought I was crazy for going the long way to Lancaster. I explained that I had all year to get there so I could go the scenic route. He laughed.

There were so many cute little cafes that I passed in order to make good time, it’s a real shame because I wish I had time to stop at every single one. But I made other little stops along the way to Intercourse, PA. At one point I flipped a U in the middle of Rt. 10 to go back and take a picture of a baby goat grazing on the side of the road, but by the time I got there to him he had run back to his mama, just in time for me to get chased by a rooster! There were all these roosters running around on the side of the road and they decided I was bad news so the Head Cock chased me and cock-a-doodle-dooed at me! They must do that when they’re threatened because he kept doing it until I was in my car! And I was laughing so hard I almost tripped and fell in a puddle. It was awesome.

So then I kept going and was just amazed - still am amazed - at the scenery. These farms are breathtakingly huge and picturesque. And the forests go on for miles, not like in suburban Maryland where you can see the outlines of houses on the other side of the brush. I’m pretty sure I was pissing off the person behind me on the road because I kept going so slow, or braking to catch all the beauty coming over certain hills. It was spectacular. And I’m quite sure I pissed them off when I decided to go to a yard sale at the last minute and cut a hard right into someone’s driveway. But all parties survived so I’m not worried.

I decided to buy something at the yard sale before I even got out of the car, but I didn’t know what. Either something cool or something I could use. So I poked around and was wondering about a cast iron frying pan and a plastic cup shaped like the Quaker Oat Guy but decided on a business card holder booklet, but it was only 50 cents and I felt bad being so cheap so I picked up a $2 rhinestone brooch as well. I’m sure it’ll look great on the lapel of one of my blazers. Anyway, I got started talking to the lady, a kind, graying woman with fiercely blue eyes who was having the sale and it turns out she was a traveler herself. She rattled off a daunting list of places she and her husband had been - Fiji, Egypt, New Zealand, Alaska.... She told me a story of the time they had taken their children to the Grand Canyon and made them finish their homework in the back of the camper before they were allowed outside to see the sights. She also told me a terrifying story of the time their camper was hit head on by a tractor trailer - everyone in the family suffered burns, broken bones, and the like - except for the youngest daughter, who was hiding in the bathroom reading her older sister’s diary.

Well, she and I must have sat on her porch and talked for half an hour before I even got her name, which was Bonnie, and she ended up giving me maps of every single region in the US and Canada! I was overwhelmed with her hospitality, she was such a charming woman that I hated to be going. But I gave her my web address and she gave me her email so hopefully we can keep tabs on each other.

So I started back up Rt. 10 and stopped to take a picture of a cow that was close to the fenced road. There were shaggy llamas on the same farm but getting a picture would have meant walking too close to the road for my taste. That’s been the case with a lot of things I’ve seen so far - fat little sheep that are so ready for shearing they look like beige cylinders with black legs sticking out, tawny newborn foals laying close to their mothers, an Amish woman using a lawnmower, a little Amish boy of about 5 peeking out from under the brim of his straw hat which had fallen over his eyes.

I have so many questions about the Pennsylvania Dutch, such as what they can and can’t do and what their faith is based on, but I feel strange asking. I was consistently surprised as I entered Intercourse, PA (I can hear you laughing), at the similarities and differences between the Amish and the tourists. I tried to get the most accurate idea of them by ignoring the tourist trap shops and going to where actual Amish people were doing actual Amish things, like the meat market. I just walked around and listened to them speak to each other, in a dialect extremely different from anything heard in the suburbs that resembled a cross between German and Dutch. It was so interesting! While walking down the street, I decided not to go all the way to Lancaster - Intercourse was Amish enough, and thought of heading to Philadelphia for the nightlife and cheesesteaks, as well as the parking garages where I could spend the night, but I think I’m going to stay here now. I saw signs for this pig roast and followed them to Heaven Even Knows Where I Am Now and I’m liking it.