Let me not to the marriage of true minds admit that I am a baby when it comes to pain. No. Rather, let me admit that when it comes to anything wisdom-tooth related, I am The King Shit Biggest, Wimpiest, Whiniest, Rock-Myself-In-The-Corner-Like-A-Bad-Afterschool-Special Loser Ever.

Now, usually I'm really good about pain. Last summer I gouged my wrist open and laughed when I saw my muscles inside. I thought it was the neatest thing ever. But, whereas I used to think that I was impervious to all pain, I now know that I am a complete wuss when it comes to teeth. That's why I haven't posted in so long - I've been curled up in the fetal position at home, popping Motrin like I'm drowing and the pills contain oxygen.

I've been cutting my wisdom teeth for about a year and about every other month they'll hurt. Last May they hurt so bad I bought one of those baby teething rings with water inside that you put in the freezer and chewed on it 24/7 for about a week. That, and Baby Orajel swabs saved me. But now I've entered that magical dental territory known as Impacted Wisdom Toothdom, specifically Exposed Nerve Street, on the corner of Holy Mother Of Christ Somebody Please Shoot Me Avenue. It's an awful place. My sinuses got infected because of the teeth and the exposed nerve was making life unbearable.

But luckily I got into the dentist, he clipped the nerve, prescribed me some Codeine and some antibiotics (plus the black market Vicodin my boyfriend scored me), scheduled me for an extraction and now I am all good! Let's ride on the fluffy roller coaster! I can taste colors! Wheeeeeeeeeeeee!