A Contest.

Okay, kids, it's time for some audience participation. Boredom at the office is reaching an all-time high and, frankly, I know some of you out there are better writers than myself. So I'm sponsoring a contest for the best author tag-line.

You know those 2-3 sentence paragraphs at the end of freelance articles, the ones that say, "Jessica Johnson is the author of *blahblah* and enjoys rock-climbing and omelets. She is currently working on *yaddayadda* and *ladeeda*."

So I'm challenging you to write the best Jessica Johnson author tag-line your little heart can muster. It can be true or completely fabricated, just use your imagination. Post your entries as comments or email them to me at jajka80@hotmail.com . The winning entry will be submitted to a publisher along with my next go-round of freelance articles, even if as a joke. You will also win the satisfaction of knowing that you are fabulous and amazing and a recipient of my unwavering love and affection. Hell, I may even throw in a gift certificate of some sort.

So get your pens and pencils ready, my dears, and send me some reading material!

Here's an example, if you're still lost:

"Jessica Johnson is a freelance journalist and author whose works have appeared solely in her own diary. She is currently on pins and needles waiting to hear back from several editors. Hotmail executives wish she would stop overloading their servers by checking her email every three-and-a-half minutes."