I'M TAKING A POLL - PLEASE COMMENT

Okay, so I have this friend. And this friend has a boyfriend that she really likes. Or, at least, she HAD a boyfriend until she broke up with him last night. Here is their story:

They have been together for about 2 months. At first they were so into each other they thought it was true love. She even talked about maybe marrying him! So here they are, all happy and whatnot, save for a couple instances when he acted inconsiderate. But she chalked that up to this being his first relationship in a few years and moved past it. But eventually she started to notice a pattern - he would only want to have sex when he was drunk. And I don't mean a couple beers, I mean SERIOUSLY fucked up. And no matter what my friend did to try to turn him on, he would not respond to her unless he was half in the bag. If he was sober, he would sometimes even get angry that she was trying to sleep with him. But most of the time he would just laugh at her, which made her feel stupid and rejected, even ugly. And my friend is fairly pretty, tall and thin with long-ish blonde hair and big brown eyes. People say that she has a nice smile.

So she talked to him about this one day, told him that she was feeling rejected and unattractive to him and very frustrated and he gave her this excuse: that when he was younger, he was geeky and no girls ever noticed him, which made him shy. But when he was drunk, he would have the confidence to talk to girls, which led to hooking up, and he just got used to having sex drunk. He said he didn't even get horny when sober. But he insisted that it was not her, that he thought she was beautiful, blah blah blah. My friend didn't know what to make of this, but she told him that she could not keep going the way they were going. She felt like she could not forge an intimate connection with him, because the only times they were ever intimate, he was drunk, which just made her feel gross.

AND, he would only get that drunk about once every two weeks or so! Now, bear in mind that my friend is an attractive 24-year-old woman. Now, is it just me or do normal couples in their early 20's like to have sex more than once every 2 or 3 weeks?

So the issue stayed an issue. Although she hates ultimatums, she gave him one - Try to be intimate when you're sober and more often or we can't be together. She felt bad giving him a choice like that, but she knew she couldn't keep going with the occasional-drunk-sex thing. Because she was so frustrated with that aspect of their relationship, she didn't feel like a real girlfriend. And the times where he would annoy her or do something inconsiderate became huge issues; those times hurt more than they should have.

So when she presented this ultimatum to him, he accused her of being shallow, of making sex an issue in an otherwise good relationship. He insisted that sex was not an integral part of a relationship and said he couldn't believe she was going to throw everything away because of something as petty as sex. He said he didn't see why she couldn't just be content to simply be with him, without having sex. She felt bad... but not so bad that she didn't stick to her guns and maintain that it WAS INDEED an issue that needed to be addressed, even if it meant breaking up.

So that is what they did. He is very upset. She is, too, but she realizes that they are lucky to find out that they are incompatible now rather than later. But.... she can't help feeling a little crazy, like maybe what he said had truth in it and she IS being shallow. Given the synopsis you just read, what do you think? Is my friend crazy or shallow? Is sex really not a big deal? Is her ex right? Or is she?

(and by the way, have you figured out who my friend is by now?)