Three Funny Stories:

Three funny stories I forgot to include in my post about The Falling Rock:

1. When I first asked about campgrounds I asked if the spot across the street was safe. "Oh, yes, very safe!" everyone said. A little while later, Jezebel and the Biker Dude were telling me all sorts of "interesting statistics" about Wisconsin.
"Yeah," Jezebel said, "there’s all kinds of stories about Wisconsin. Ed Gein was from Wisconsin. He did most of his work in Wisconsin."
The biker asked me, "You do know who Ed Gein is, right?"
"Wasn’t he some serial killer?"
"Yeah, I’d say! He was the guy who killed people and used their skin to make lampshades."
"Oh, awesome..." I mumbled.
"Who else, who else?" Jezebel wondered aloud. "Oh! We had a guy not too long ago stick his dead mother in the freezer so he could keep collecting her Social Security checks. She died of natural causes, he didn’t kill her or anything. But he really wanted that money, so he put her in the freezer! Later on, the guy stole some little kid’s bike. When the kid’s dad went to the house to get it back, the guy pulled a gun on him. That made the police search the house and they found his dead mom in the freezer!"
"Yep!" the biker chirped. "Momsicle!"
I just looked back and forth between them, my jaw agape.
Jezebel continued. "Yeah, it happened in French Landing, about a mile south of here. And then somebody started making bumper stickers that said, ‘French Landing - My Mom Is Cooler Than Your Mom!’ and it had a picture of a leg sticking out of a cooler!"
The biker asked Jez, "Hey, doesn’t Wisconsin have the largest number of unsolved murders in the country?"
"Yeah, we sure do."
"You guys are not making me very excited to camp here, you know that, right?" I asked.
"Oh, you’ll be fine!" they smiled.

2. Jezebel was telling me about her love of sushi, and recounted a story about the lack of sushi in Prairie du Chien:

"I had to go to Madison on business and there’s a great sushi place there. My husband was jealous because he’d never had sushi and wanted to try it. I offered to bring some home for him and he said, all sarcastic, ‘Oh, great! By the time you get here it’ll be cold! So you’re gonna bring me cold sushi!’ I was like, "Um, honey? Do you know what sushi is? Trust me, you’ll want it to be cold!"

3. Right before I left to head for the campground, two middle-aged couples came in. It was obvious they had just come off the river - and that they’d had a few. Jezebel was in the middle of telling me, "You’ll love Montana! You’ll have guys all over you! The ratio’s crazy, it’s like 100 men to every woman!" One of the men heard her say that and got confused.
"Where’s that?" he asked loudly. "I wanna go there!"
His wife turned to him. "Is there something you’re trying to tell me?"
We all got a huge laugh.